Currently, I'm watching this kdrama called "Jealousy Incarnate". Its good but I still don't understand it. Anyway, there's this part where smth about breast cancer pops up and it makes me worried that I might have it.

You see, these are the things I think about. The things people don't usually worry about. As in, when it comes, only then will they start to worry. Yes, I overthink everything but I make sure to not overindulge. Its a touch and go, really.

Lately I realised that you can never trust people to not say anything. Including myself. Its a mistake, really. I mean, you have to be careful about the things you say and whether you're okay with people knowing things about you. Since I realised that, I just make sure to not talk about people. It happens when a person becomes a topic on your conversation with others. That is why I dislike discussing about people. Know the sentence, "Small minds discuss people."? Its true, you know.

That said, I can't help to wonder about some people. I'm not sure if wonder is the right word but its borderline judging. I'm not proud of it but I think it's an unnecessary evil. We don't have to just accept anyone because its the right thing to do. Not everyone is on the same wavelength as us, right?

Like, just because there's some things we don't like about a person, doesn't mean we hate them as a whole. I like people. Some. But we're all not perfect humans and we all sin differently. I don't even know where I'm going with this but I need to chill. Seriously. I feel like I'm high strung and this is just me. I think my period's coming. Maybe this is why....

I really hope I'll meet someone who will understand me. I feel like even with my friends they don't really understand me. I feel like they can leave anytime. I hope when I find a partner, he won't make me feel that way. I hope he understands when I need a moment to take a step back, some alone time but it doesn't mean I'm leaving him, I just need to find my centre again.

After all, if I'm gonna marry someone, he better be all of those right? I'm not asking him to be rich or funny or handsome or anything. I just hope, ya Allah like really hoping, he's the one to bring me to Jannah  Al Firdaus. Amin.

Allah knows best, after all.

I'm gonna go to sleep now. Had a long day from Mustafa to supper with my friends. Nights.

xoxo,
princess fy