sometimes i just want to go up to people to tell me the truth.

it's like... i cannot trust them to not tell me the truth and i don't know how it got this bad. maybe i've always been cynical but like a positive cynic. i really want to let go and not believe my subconscious because what if it's just me overthinking?

today i hear things i didn't want to hear and again i just can't stop thinking about it. it makes me very sad but i just want to get over it. the thing about people is that those that matter, won't care and those that don't matter will care. some people are not even meant to stay in your lives. maybe for a period of time to let you learn a lesson or two and then they will disappear. so there's that. i have to admit, i am a difficult person to understand. literally. and i hate the word literally. sometimes when i make a joke or try to give a metaphor, people usually don't get it. it's fine because that's who i am. i'm just so thankful for the people in my life right now and i hope Allah S.W.T will provide me ease when it comes time for them to go away from my life.

i have friends that are like the forever kind. i have this primary school friend that is always there and i'm so thankful. sometimes i feel i don't deserve her. i mean she has a boyfriend but yeah, i do ditch on her but that's only because i prioritise my family. there's a reason why.

ugh, goodbye