May the 4th be with you.

i've always wanted to say that.

today i've come to realise that all of us have almost the same fears. be it being left alone or not knowing what to do in the future, it's always along those lines. some days i say, "fuck it, i'll figure it out when the time comes, let's just enjoy the moment for now." but lately i've been thinking, "what if i never become something better?"

i am currently working as a full- time sales associate. it's been almost 8 months and i never thought i could commit this long to a job. i've always know myself to not be committed. just look at my grades, they never go above average. i've never been in relationships because one of the reasons is because i'm scared of being bored of my partner. i seldom celebrate birthdays of anyone, be it a family member or close friends. i'm just not into these things. back to my job, i am currently at a dilemma. i used to intern at a boutique hotel for 6 mths as a requirement to complete my studies. the problem: my managers and colleagues over there are calling back for me and it's because they need people. and over here, i am somewhat comfortable. with the distance being close to my house, it already saves cost. what if i go back to the hotel just to face the same shit? i mean, it's pretty relaxed there. most of the time you just serve guests when they come to you. i don't know what is stopping me but i guess i am not a fan of changes too.

there you go, i think i found my answers. i am somewhat afraid of changes. and all i can say to myself right now is that, "it'll get better".

here's to me finding my answers soon!

xoxo,
princessfy