In a way yes, but in some ways no

I felt that at first until I realised that I was too convenient for you, and that was my biggest mistake.

I know you don’t miss me at all, nor the times we spent together. It was all one-sided on my part.. and that’s what made me so sad. But it also provided me with comfort that we actually had those times, even if it was for a short period.

I also learnt that you will never see me the way I see you. Your vision is too far ahead, on a different woman and a whole different lifestyle. I thought we had the same idea but it turns out that I was wrong again. I wasn’t just accommodating to you but when I heard everything that you shared, I felt that this could work. Then I learnt more and more about the realities of life.. and it made me realise that no, nothing ever goes your way, as negative as that sounds..

I’m still coming to terms with it, or what people would say healing. I am still healing. It sounds like something therapeutic but trust me, it’s a tough and gruelling process. How do I do this when I have to face you knowing that I feel so much for you yet I have to keep mum about it? At this point, I am being very obvious and letting you use my feelings for you...