It’s a dog eat dog world out there

I haven’t seen it all, I would say I’m still young enough to not have gone through everything

But the way I see it.... it feels like my hope is dwindling as days goes by. Hopelessness is a sin and I am struggling to see the good in everything. I feel like my biggest sin thus far is in falling for you.. it’s tough hiding my feelings and getting upset over everything. I shouldn’t and I should try harder than I already am.

My dad has always told me to do good and be kind. It’s not easy if people think that I am not sincere. This life is indeed a test. They will tell you all sorts of things to lower your self esteem and make you feel low. But God is great, subhanallah.... in testing times, there is blessings to be found. I only realise that now at this time I’m writing...

I am only human.... I hope He forgives me for being sad and crying too much but I know that deep down I am stronger than this. I know myself but He knows me best..... Ya Allah, You are the best listener, I hope You are listening to my pain... the pain that I am trying to hide. Ya Allah, true love only comes from You... if this is Your protection for me, I accept it.. but You know what I’m feeling deep in my heart.